Antidote to
Competitiveness
Chronicles of
Change II
This is the second installment of a new column which
will appear in each issue of E-News.
Our culture is very competitive. This is based on the
notion, that there is a limited amount of good things
available. Therefore, the more you have, the less there is for
me. This is considered "true" for jobs, food, money, housing
and virtually everything else. In this scenario, if we don't
compete with one another, the other person will get so much,
that there won't be enough for me. Culturally there must be a
winner and a loser.
This mindset is very linear. All of life becomes one
big organization chart and the most important thing is to
improve your own position, without regard for any one else.
People in many other countries don't do this. Europeans have
been known to describe our culture as "dog eat dog".
Many of us work continuously to achieve a clearer
view of the state of things and to live by higher spiritual
principles. If you are reading this, then I bet you are one of
these folks. Nevertheless, these competitive messages are deep
in our unconscious. Sometimes they crop up in the oddest way,
like when driving or when doing a non-competitive activity in
a competitive way or wanting to silence someone who is
expressing an opinion that we strongly disagree with.
Sometimes we try to make non-linear things, linear, because
that is what we are familiar with.
A helpful way to conceptualize and begin to understand this
is linear vs. circular. Look at the assumptions behind a
more circular approach:
- There is no starting line and no finish line. It is a
circle, remember!
- Life is assumed to be ongoing and continuous.
- Choices are made that are sustainable and accentuate
on-going life for everyone.
- Actions are recognized as impacting the entire web of
life and decisions are made with this awareness.
Here is an example that may be helpful. The traffic,
where I live in the Puget Sound area, is worsening. It is
becoming increasingly difficult to estimate commute/travel
times because it is very unpredictable. It is very easy to
drive competitively in this scenario. I am sure you have
experienced this regardless of where you live.
Now think of a time when you were standing with a
group of people in a circle holding hands, maybe this was at a
workshop, meditation group or church service. Once the circle
was complete, meaning everybody was holding hands, would you
allow someone to come between you and the person next to you?
This would entail letting go of the hand of the original
neighbor and joining hands with the new person. Would you do
this? I think it is reasonable to assume the answer would be
"yes". Why is this an easy answer? In a circle there is no
beginning or end.
Now let's shift our attention back to driving. When
someone is trying to merge onto the freeway, how do you view
it? If you are like me, the answer varies based on a number of
things including what kind of day you are having.
What would happen if we viewed all of traffic as a
big circle? If you think of yourself leaving your home,
driving to one or more locations and then driving back home,
then you actually are driving in a circle. Even when you go on
a driving vacation, if you come back home again, you have
effectively driven in a big circle.
The one difference with traffic is that we are all
tracing different circles, but at the end of the day, we are
all going in circles. I find that when I consider traffic as
being circular, I am calmer and more yielding because, after
all we are all just going around in a circle anyway! Try it
and let me know how it works.
Circular thinking and movement are also big lessons from
Aikido and Tai Chi. The more I compete with you, the more you
will compete back and vice versa. Both of these martial arts
teach physical ways to respond from a centered place, which
means a neutral place that does not involve attacking
back.
The truth is that we have change coming at us fast
and furious. Most of us are not going to "get ahead" by
competing with one another through these transitions. No one
will "win" if we continue competing. Cooperation, connection
and mutual respect will be much more powerful when it comes to
navigating the changes that are on our
doorsteps.
More Next Time.
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